[ask me about the sketchy coffee shop I went to today.]
Life is crazy.
I've changed a lot. I guess everyone does. If people are so involved in
the fact that they have changed, why don't they notice the changes in
others? This year I've learned that people are capable of change.
Everyone. Even you. (though it would be so much easier if you stayed
self-absorbed and neurotic because then I could simply write you off
and be done with it)
wow that was poorly expressed. all apologies.
continuing that thought...in a way...
I'm learning how to be alone. Not alone in the lonely sense, but
physically apart from other people. I crave attatchment. I know
how to have adventures with company. I don't know what to do when I'm
alone. My mind races. I can't concentrate to read or watch a movie. I
need human contact. I get overwhelmed with uncontrollable sadness. When
I talk to Justin on the phone I am distressed simply knowing that he is
existing in a reality apart from me. I really don't understand myself.
But today I made a point to spend several hours by myself, out and
about. It was surprisingly relaxing. I'll keep you updated.
and now for more introspection...
I don't feel twenty years old. I can't wrap my mind around the fact
that I'm an adult. Or nearly one. Here's hoping that in the next year
or two I gracefully transition into an adult, in the style of Ashleigh
Graves and Katie Golden.
even more...
I need to learn more. I don't do enough critical thinking. I've begun
to read merely to comprehend. I don't want to passively float in pools
of knowledge. I want to explore them to the uttermost.
