I've changed a lot. I guess everyone does. If people are so involved in the fact that they have changed, why don't they notice the changes in others? This year I've learned that people are capable of change. Everyone. Even you. (though it would be so much easier if you stayed self-absorbed and neurotic because then I could simply write you off and be done with it)
wow that was poorly expressed. all apologies.
continuing that thought...in a way...
I'm learning how to be alone. Not alone in the lonely sense, but physically apart from other people. I crave attatchment. I know how to have adventures with company. I don't know what to do when I'm alone. My mind races. I can't concentrate to read or watch a movie. I need human contact. I get overwhelmed with uncontrollable sadness. When I talk to Justin on the phone I am distressed simply knowing that he is existing in a reality apart from me. I really don't understand myself. But today I made a point to spend several hours by myself, out and about. It was surprisingly relaxing. I'll keep you updated.
and now for more introspection...
I don't feel twenty years old. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I'm an adult. Or nearly one. Here's hoping that in the next year or two I gracefully transition into an adult, in the style of Ashleigh Graves and Katie Golden.
even more...
I need to learn more. I don't do enough critical thinking. I've begun to read merely to comprehend. I don't want to passively float in pools of knowledge. I want to explore them to the uttermost.
